changes, changes.

holidays are supposed to be the time to relax. as in, sleep all the time & do nothing.

the thought of that seems to be salvation if you work 50+ hours/week. at that point "life" is called "work". especially if you do that because you just don't happen to have any ideas what to do next yet. People who do that don't have lives. 

The last months I've spent on preparing and learning for quite an important exam that was meant to take place where I work. The place where I waste 50+ hours weekly of my valuable time. Since I am quite open to learning stuff, would really like to go study, I put a lot of energy in learning for that exam. And there I go on holidays and it happens. I miss all that fun. Somehow it was important for me to be a part of this test, since I work in that place since almost 2 years.

A lot of things seem to happen at the wrong time lately. why could that be?

I can't sleep.

one year and four days.

I've found peace again, for now. A job which is easy enough, but payed well enough. I could stay here. For longer, like seriously long. I've also found a city I really like.

Working night shifts is a pain in the ass. Every single noise makes me crazy. I know that in general the worst thing that can happen is a fire. Where I will be the first one to call the fire brigade, which I've never done before. I'm being paranoid.
On the other side it's the only time where I can sit and do my stuff without listening to people's talking.

I should be doing some stuff now, cleaning the pride and joy of the biggest bosses of this company. They all wish this place wouldn't be a sinking ship. I took a closer look at this building with all it's marks and maggots for the past year.

It's just funny to see people come and go, managers change. They all look similar when they start, enthusiastic, energetic, full of ideas. Then, as time flies, and no big profit is made, they slowly start letting go of their plans. After that, I can already tell how long they're going to stay.

I'm useless during day time, mostly too tired to keep my eyes open for longer than 30 min after I finish work. I think it's the tension that makes me tired. The fact that if I close my eyes for longer than 2 minutes I fall asleep.

'Visited' an old 'friend' today. Actually I've only read the news on his website. So he's got an exhibition. I should go and show my support, but since it's 527 miles away and it all ended up in something weird, I'm just not gonna. It's also his birthday today, which I remember and here again I should do some but I won't.
I wish I could remember what it felt like...

Soon ...

     On the 10th of May it's going to be exactly one year since I've been on the road. Of course thre has been a longer stop near Brighton, a return to Warsaw for a short while, and now, in some days I will travel again. It's funny. If it would be possible I would change the place where I live every 6 months, finding a job that will be enough to have a good life is easy. It's harder t find a place to live. 

But for now and the last week, there is a different place I'd rather be in, at some moment.

I got a laptop from my friend. Being too lazy to actually save the bloody money. She's a good friend, the computer (mac) is quite old though. No airport, and I also can't really watch movies on it. I'm not complaining, got it for free. 

I started learning french, I've done it for 2 hours and got bored. Don't think I will try again this year.

My friend gave me her cold as a goodbye gift. :)

polaroid

Listening to: Cat Power- The Greatest

my polaroids are still working. :)

'Once I wanted to be the greatest,
no wind or waterfall could stop me..'

I want to sleep.

At least some of this stuff is working. Only for the reason to make my life harder again.
Luck does play a big role in a person's life.

I've made up my mind when it seemed that the world has turned it's back on me. A quite nice Island on the Atlantic Ocean seemd perfect. To relaxe, to breathe again. The air there must be wonderul (no cars allowed).

And it is happening way faster than I had hoped.

I heared the thing I needed to hear exactly 24 hours to late.

yhh ...

This post is sponsored by bad timing over and over and over again.

Too much is happening, can't make a decision.

Don't understand.

sometimes life just does not make a lot of sense.

traveler II

I've recently discovered I might me moving to Sark. Which I've never heard of before.

It's a really small (around 5,5 km2) island between Great Britain and France. It's actually closer to France.

It's next to two bigger islands- Jersey and Guernsey and two others, which are obviously to small to mention.

This place is so small and it seems there is no easy way out of there.

The population is 600.

And yes ... I will.

My friend said that I'll get so fucking lonely that I'll fling myself off a cliff. She might be right.

I am quite fond of this idea to be honest. Just a bit worried cause I don't really want to end up in a shit hole.
Oh this is going to be fun.
I mean, it's not every day that you get the chance to move to a place like this.